Column: Information Station

November 2007

This Spring as I rode the Royal Gorge Railroad, I was stunned by mile after mile of the spectacular Colorado mountains. That’s why I gaped when we passed a dilapidated house that seemed as out of place as a cockroach in Buckingham Palace’s kitchen. The guide explained that railroad workers had once lived in the now abandoned house. The roof and some of the exterior walls were gone. The windows that remained were broken. The interior was rubble.

Any house, unless maintained, will deteriorate. It simply cannot  take care of itself. That’s true, not only of houses, but of children. If they are deserted or neglected instead of nurtured, their entire personhood is at risk.  

In times past, the word “abandoned” conjured up the image of a mother creeping up the church steps, tearfully leaving her baby in a basket and scurrying away. Some parents today do deliberately abandon their kids. Mom leaves her son with relatives or friends and never comes back. Police find a crying child, hungry and dirty in an empty apartment where he’s been for days. Dave’s father refused to acknowledge that he had a son out of wedlock and disappeared.

Others abandon their role as parent. When Abbey’s mother died,  her father was too overwhelmed to give his daughter the attention she needed. After Trisha’s parents went through a divorce, she rarely saw her dad.  Carrie’s mom dismissed her daughter’s pleas for attention to spend time with her lover. Instead of cherishing their young son, Bill’s parents gave their allegiance to booze.

If the parent’s choice was deliberate, the child probably felt as  though he has a sign plastered on his back: unwanted. If the choice was not deliberate, a child may still feel abandoned even if the situation doesn’t warrant it. To him, it is true. Those feelings aren’t likely to vanish when he grows up.

Abandoned and destroyed houses, like the one I saw on the Royal Gorge Railroad, can’t be salvaged. Thank God, abandoned people can.

I know. You can find out how that happened in my new book, Naked on God’s Doorstep.

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October 2007
September 2007