Column: Information Station

July 2008

Single parent families in those 1960 television shows were unrealistically ideal. For, at the end of each episode, they’d worked through their problems. Most didn’t struggle alone, either. “The Andy Griffith Show” had Aunt Bea. The kid in “Lassie” had a collie. In “Flipper”, it was a bottle nosed dolphin. Although these TV drama families had minor skirmishes, we could always count on a happy ending.  

In real life, as the song goes, ‘It Ain’t Necessarily So.”

Twenty-eight percent of all kids live in single parent homes; the majority are raised by a mother the way I was. According to statistics, we may experience more poverty, and are at a higher risk of social, behavioral or emotional problems. But kids from single parent homes are not destined to be a statistic. Ben Carson is proof of that.

A well known professor and director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins Medical Institutions, Carson was raised by his mother. “Daddy isn’t going to live with us anymore,” she told her son  one day. Daddy, she said, had done some bad things and was going away and would never come back.  

Despite the fact that she had little education, Ben’s mom was determined to keep her family together. She worked as a domestic and took care of children to keep bread on the table and put clothes on their backs.

She was firm but wise. When young Ben had trouble in school, instead of berating him, she told him that he was a smart boy. Gradually, the boy set out to prove her right.

Mother Carson set limits: homework first, play second. She limited their television to three shows a week and let them know that they were to read two library books a week and give her a report on each one. Under her rules Ben’s grades climbed, his love for books soared. This African American boy from a single parent home went on to save countless lives and motivate inner city kids to achieve their goals. (You can read Ben Carson’s story in Gifted Hands.)

Ben Carson’s mom reminds me of my own mother. Both were alone and poor, but they determined to do whatever it took to raise their kids well. They both had strong faith in God and communicated it to their children. In addition, they had high moral standards and set exemplary goals.

So if you are a single parent, don’t let anyone write you off as another statistic. If you know single parents, support them however you can.

That, after all, is the Jesus way.

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